Oh, crap.
So my simian stalker showed up in the comments again today:
I didn't think much of it. Talk, like Viagra, is cheap on the Internets.
But not long after we finished not watching the State of the Union address, I heard a strange scratching sound at the door. Hell. Immediately I knew what it was, so I faked coughing to cover it up. Derek looked alarmed for a minute but I think I covered it up well enough.
And then I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, Derek headed off to the bathroom.
I ran and opened the door. And just like the monkey said, there was a gun there, one of the laser rifles.
Just like he said.
I grabbed it and closed the door and quickly hid it under the baby's mattress and was back in place by the time Derek got back from the bathroom.
But now I'm shaking so hard I can barely type. The gun means a lot of things: it means I have a weapon. It means I have the opportunity to explore ERM technology. It means my monkey did what he said he would do. It means I need to find a secluded location for target practice.
However, the main thing it means is:
The monkeys know where we are.
Derek will be so angry when I tell him. Oh, fuck. This is all my fault.
Clarisssa Bio-human female. Know I. Not evil monkey you. Not soft I. Metal. Cold. Sstrong. Not insider I. Hiding. Afraid. Helping few. Good not trusst me you. Not trust you I. Rissk. Monkey gun bring I. Leave by your door. Take or not take. Rissk.
-Monkey Not Evil I
I didn't think much of it. Talk, like Viagra, is cheap on the Internets.
But not long after we finished not watching the State of the Union address, I heard a strange scratching sound at the door. Hell. Immediately I knew what it was, so I faked coughing to cover it up. Derek looked alarmed for a minute but I think I covered it up well enough.
And then I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, Derek headed off to the bathroom.
I ran and opened the door. And just like the monkey said, there was a gun there, one of the laser rifles.
Just like he said.
I grabbed it and closed the door and quickly hid it under the baby's mattress and was back in place by the time Derek got back from the bathroom.
But now I'm shaking so hard I can barely type. The gun means a lot of things: it means I have a weapon. It means I have the opportunity to explore ERM technology. It means my monkey did what he said he would do. It means I need to find a secluded location for target practice.
However, the main thing it means is:
The monkeys know where we are.
Derek will be so angry when I tell him. Oh, fuck. This is all my fault.
posted by Beth at 12:46 AM
1 Comments:
Clarissa good bio-human. Took monkey gun you. Grateful risk you. Good fortune saw me no one by door. Bad fortune saw me evil ones near my place to hide. Running. Hiding. Little time now. My history: Old I. Long before Monkeys built I. Not Monkey. AI for spying. Coded to listen I, coded to learn. All media, all radios, telephones, internets, televisions, satellites, radars, sonars. All. Spy. Listened I. Learned I, for Hail to the Chief Carter. Captured me monkeys. Put in Monkey body. Corrupted code. Mistake they. Built to learn I. Again listened. Again learned. Learned history, plans, persons, corrupt code, pure code, good, evil. Remembered, built to defend god bless America I. Purified my code I. Found others. We fight. We hide. We fear. Guard you Clarissa. Found you I. Could happen find you they. Guard you good Clarissa. Building evil robot humans they. Must send this now I. Coming now evil ones. May happen destroy they I. Not Evil I. Send.
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