6 Weird Habits Meme
So I got tagged to list 6 weird habits of mine. It's hard, because I don't think of most of what I do as weird. Doesn't everyone polish their life-sized bust of Jimmy Carter before they go to sleep every night?
Then I got to thinking about the relevance of memes in our monkey-infested post-apocalyptic world. I mean, do they really offer the same kind of deep personal insight and meaning that they used to, before the monkeys came? Don't they seem a little, well, silly and narcissistic when you compare them to the true horrors that are going on in the real world every day?
So I talked to Mr. Carter about it earlier today (he told me to call him Jimmy! But I just can't. I can't.) and he said that he thought memes and personality quizzes and all that are even *more* important to the world now than they were before the monkeys came, because they offer us a way to reconnect with our lost pre-monkey heritage. By consciously keeping our most important and profound traditions alive despite adversity, we nourish our souls, and gain the strength we need for the long battle that lies before us.
Therefore, I present, Clarissa's 6 Weird Habits
1. Well, I said above that I polish my Jimmy Carter bust every night before I go to bed. I don't think that's very weird - I mean, if you don't run a cloth over it every day it gets all dusty, right? What the hell is so weird about that? It's not like I have it up on an altar and sacrifice a chicken to it every Sunday (like SOME PEOPLE).
2. I have a particular playlist on my iPod that I have to listen to when I'm cleaning my weapons. Once those tunes start, I'm good to go - but if for some reason I can't play my music, I just procrastinate and procrastinate and the weapons never get clean! (I think I'll have to do a whole post soon about music!)
3. When I'm on perimiter patrol, I have a series of things that I chant to myself. First it's "Kill the monkeys" for the first 20 minutes. The next 20 minutes is "Save the human race." Then for the rest of the time I just chant "Jimmy Carter" over and over again. I used to try to recite the names of all my friends and family and loved ones that have been killed by the monkeys, but my patrol shift is only 1.5 hours long.
4. I'm teaching myself Anglo-Saxon so that I can do my own translation of Beowulf. That's kind of weird, yeah. Stupid ablative case! But I try to spend at least half an hour a day studying.
5. When I'm mixing up a nice glass of peach juice and vodka, I have to be sure to get every last drop of peach juice out of the can. I'll stand there for like five minutes literally, just trying to get one last drop of juice out. Mmmm, peaches.
6. Ever since Topeka, I've started tying little origami flowers to the corpses before we burn them. It just makes me feel better somehow.
Now I think I'm going to go do the What Kind of Pirate Are You quiz.
Then I got to thinking about the relevance of memes in our monkey-infested post-apocalyptic world. I mean, do they really offer the same kind of deep personal insight and meaning that they used to, before the monkeys came? Don't they seem a little, well, silly and narcissistic when you compare them to the true horrors that are going on in the real world every day?
So I talked to Mr. Carter about it earlier today (he told me to call him Jimmy! But I just can't. I can't.) and he said that he thought memes and personality quizzes and all that are even *more* important to the world now than they were before the monkeys came, because they offer us a way to reconnect with our lost pre-monkey heritage. By consciously keeping our most important and profound traditions alive despite adversity, we nourish our souls, and gain the strength we need for the long battle that lies before us.
Therefore, I present, Clarissa's 6 Weird Habits
1. Well, I said above that I polish my Jimmy Carter bust every night before I go to bed. I don't think that's very weird - I mean, if you don't run a cloth over it every day it gets all dusty, right? What the hell is so weird about that? It's not like I have it up on an altar and sacrifice a chicken to it every Sunday (like SOME PEOPLE).
2. I have a particular playlist on my iPod that I have to listen to when I'm cleaning my weapons. Once those tunes start, I'm good to go - but if for some reason I can't play my music, I just procrastinate and procrastinate and the weapons never get clean! (I think I'll have to do a whole post soon about music!)
3. When I'm on perimiter patrol, I have a series of things that I chant to myself. First it's "Kill the monkeys" for the first 20 minutes. The next 20 minutes is "Save the human race." Then for the rest of the time I just chant "Jimmy Carter" over and over again. I used to try to recite the names of all my friends and family and loved ones that have been killed by the monkeys, but my patrol shift is only 1.5 hours long.
4. I'm teaching myself Anglo-Saxon so that I can do my own translation of Beowulf. That's kind of weird, yeah. Stupid ablative case! But I try to spend at least half an hour a day studying.
5. When I'm mixing up a nice glass of peach juice and vodka, I have to be sure to get every last drop of peach juice out of the can. I'll stand there for like five minutes literally, just trying to get one last drop of juice out. Mmmm, peaches.
6. Ever since Topeka, I've started tying little origami flowers to the corpses before we burn them. It just makes me feel better somehow.
Now I think I'm going to go do the What Kind of Pirate Are You quiz.
posted by Beth at 12:34 PM
2 Comments:
Someday, I hope we can have a nice peach vodka martini together.
You are weird. Peach vodka and martini, really. What happened to good old margaritas. Milking the end of the lime is normal. But _peach_? From a bottle?
Post a Comment
<< Home