Moving On

I always thought people who talked about how their "heart" was "breaking" were indulging in hyperbole - but no. They're not.

Oh, God, this sucks so bad.

I don't want to get into it. I don't want to tell you the blow-by-blow, the he-said and she-said and the-god-damn-scrabble-cheating-nun-said and the robot-monkey-said and then the baby started crying and -

Damn it, I'm crying again.

Ok. Well.

After the razor blade incident, I untied Derek and Maddie (eventually). A lot of things were said, a lot of awful things. I didn't know Zen nuns could swear like that! Actually I didn't really understand that Derek could swear like that, either, though I suspected he had hidden talents.

Anyway. It is now clear that Maddie is a human and that I am a fucking psychopath and -

The baby's crying again. How can I leave the baby?


We've talked it over. We've talked rationally and we've screamed irrationally and I've cried and Derek has cried and Maddie has cried and it is just one giant clusterfuck.

And in the end, we all agreed: I'm leaving. It's the only way. I hate it but it's the only fucking way, at least for now. I guess those damn ducks will have to protect them.

At least until Maddie's wound heals. Until Derek forgives me.

Until I forgive him.

The baby's crying again. It's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I may never hear it again.

I have to go now.